相爱不需要理由

Is all most a month of this days i am getting though . everything was like e same .. same as wat is it . but spending of e everyday was changed . changed to wat i really dun feel like going by each and every day . everythings was like a story . but isnt story always ended with an happy ending ? but my's was nv. and nv will it be . times and again. by not pretending i am leading an happy life i dun really knows wat is going to be like anymore . ya. maybe i am really not ready to face anything at e moment . but life is so boring and so useless to carry with this kind of fucking life . was it worth after so much things has happen . which i really see everyone true colour one by one .. wat izzit like to be liketat .. nobody will ever knows wat i am going though and nobody will . cause is really jus something tat nobody wants and only me will be e only silly one to go on . maybe letting is like so easy to be said . but for me is not .. and is nv easy .. nv nv .. is so hard tat actually it makes turn into darkness after so many things has happen .. hais.. where is e light be4 i when to taiwan .. everything started off after taiwan . finally it end here .. everything ! so sudden . :( sometime i ask myself .. why did i choose to go .. or should i say ..is it for me to choose where things is not to be choose by myself.. or should i say .. i should has awoled den everyone will be happy.. but is e solution .. is e responsibility i need to put up.. but why should i go .. being at taiwan e 21 days .. was not easy really not easy .. every single day i was thinking and worrying of wat i am thinking of.. which in terms really happen when i am missing from singapore.. which is so painful tat i dun wanna it to be .. if times is going to turn back .. i would like to turn e time back to 051008 .. and stop there ... is really e only day tat i really see e light of my life after all this years.. but in e end .. because of my adsent in singapore for jus 3 weeeks .. it may looks so short but it has happen alot of unexpected things. which i will nv wish to see . but it happen in e end .. why .. hais.. things is not going to be end or ended for me .. hais.. but what can i really do ? den pretending tat i am happy , i am strong .. and keep saying tat is actually nothing . was it really nothing .. or should i says i am jus trying to run aways from all this question of ppl asking .. hais.. :( days and days.. sleeping has also been gone due to my daily of brain storming every moment ..is so hard for me to get to sleep alright .. hais.. :( wat can i do ? whos know that actually i am suffering more every single days on and on .. when will it stop? i really going to burst soon .. but when can i really endure it ? how far and i go ? it been 20 years of taking almost everythings to myself. whos in this world really understand me ? nobody at all actually .. whos really know wat i am really like ? who really know wat actually did i wants? nobody at all .. ppl stop giving me e pressure pls.. i wan to be alone sometime . but i cant . cause i will nv be .. :( days of darkness when will it end? i jus wan a simple life with a happy memory tat i could bring up to says i did it with no regrets or maybe withs all my own hands and own efforts ! :( lifes is so fcukup!