相爱不需要理由

It been 4 days since i last writed anything .. this few days was thinking and thinking .. after i really has say things out does myself really felt better or anything . ya .. the fact is that i am only lying to myself .. being of e fact at e end is tat i am still in e same old place doing e same old things i still haven really step a step forward yet.. not even forgetting anything yet or putting down anythings. everything is really not easy for me .. but u? how had u been ? i really dun know .. i totally had no news again like wat is like during e one year u when missing from me again .. doesnt even know why last time tat u didnt even wanted to talked to me .. and in e end we quarrel after i found u and contact u again. hais.. but this times things is in a totally diff situation .. this times is really so messy for me .. i dun wan to be like this and i dun wish to go on like this .. everything i do . is so hard to stop thinking of u alright .. maybe wat i should do is like wat we have said to each other . but u really can do it i know .. but for me ? all this 5 years i didnt even give up a little of this hope but to u .. is like so easily things is to u .. hais.. isnt it? why do u wan this misunderstand to go on ? do u feel better .. i know u dun .. and u also will start to think of it .. i know! u say i dun know u i dun understand u .. but i dare to say i have tried my best to know and understand u .. and i did .. but all u say to me is jus simply saying i dun know . but in fact something or should i say most of e things i did know and understand . but u jus dun really wanna take up e fact tat actually i did understand u . cause u and me .. is actually u keep wanting to step backwards rather den take a step forward.. bu shi mahs? hais.. :( 5 years leis.. is not easy to go by u know .. u are jus saying it to jus let it go jus liketat .. like u say we didnt even started who did end come in? ehhs.. i am going to tell u this .. u are totally wrong ok.. yes ..we didnt started but didnt we go through e hardship with u most of e times .. mostly i cant help u .. but all this years no matter wat u do .. and where u are .. i am still be wishing and always being aat ur side when even i could but is like i dun really seem to be noticed how much i am going through to give u all e things i did for u .. but have u even thought of anything at least.. i try to go a few more step farther . and even did plan for my future with u in it .. and i didnt regret anything i did for u .. all e while everything i did for u come in like a thinking .. like u say u also doesnt wan to lost me but now u are making me to lost u.. i dun wan i dun wish to can ! nv nv .. once did i think or have e thoughts of all this in my mind ! nv ! not e past and is also not going to be in e future .. hais.. is not easy to go by .. but i did so wat ever is going to be ahead i dun care .. i believe in faith and e effort someday will turn things into miracle tat are going to be a happiness for an life time ahead!!!!!! :(