相爱不需要理由

Jus reaches home .. days and days passes .. soon i will finish my ns life .. and things is going to be like wat i think ? i am sure it wont cause my life is always not easy to goes by.. is nv easy and it will nv be easy .. maybe my mood lvl for today is a 50% bahs.. hais.. frankly specking if u are seeing my blog which u know who u are . didnt u miss those old days.. ? hais.. if u are den why should this go on ? maybe is like wat we talk about bahs.. choose and live life with it . and dun look back bahs? :( dun really know wat u think and also not everyone really knows too.. cause u has ur own thinking . ur own doing in everything bahs.. this misunderstanding wont end bahs.. cause is a no turn back point liao bahs.. i also dun know wat can i say .. to u .. i am making ur life hard so be it .. i wont disturb ur life neither will i do anything cause giving in to u is like making u feel tat i am making ur life hards.. no matter how many things i have done be4 is like u say is jus like nothing to you .. hais.. thanks for those hurting words of urs.. hope u can have a better life ahead bahs.. :) anyway dun really know wat can i say anymore .. nvm bahs.. i shouldnt hab say anything also.. cause like u say i am in a no position to say u bahs.. anyway all the best to u .. jus rmb all those things i told u .. actually some or maybe a little bits is e fact bahs.. i may be wrong but is really for ur own good and i really meant no harm .. sorry for e hurting words i use be4 on u .. sorry .. take care .. i know u would even if it is without me .. so i think i stop here le.. been trying not to do anything for u le.. so sorry to disturb ur life after all.. :)

相爱不需要理由

Jus got back from camp . kinna stuck with so many stress .. hais.. days after days.. everything seem to be like in a mess . hais.. i really dun know how to take the next step and is kinna sad . hais.. ppl says is because i doesnt had a positive mind but i really wanna do it . but really doesnt hab anymore faith to carry on le.. dun really know wat to says le.. anyway .. will update when i feel like saying somethings.

相爱不需要理由

hais.. another day passes . everything seem like is e same to me .. hais.. every single day i have telling myself . should i rate my mood every single day? ehhs.. for ytd i give myself a 30% bahs.. but todays is like .. i think is only abit higher cause i slept e whole day . 7am to 4pm . forcing myself to sleep or rather wishing not to wake up . hais.. :( every single day passes nothing is going right for me .. i am not myself anymore . feeling more and more down every single day.. things for was like getting more and more slow . specially e time .. wat i am doing now ? i dunnoe . life is so unexpected . hais.. comes so hard with so much feeling and efforts.. and jus one day . she can choose to leave.. hais.. this really hurts .. ya maybe she felt e same too.. but why? how come? acting strong in front of e both of us ? will it makes us feel better or ? everything is like a question mark. ? wat is e real meaning of a question marks? a marks tat marks e end of everything which is hard to explain ? or something to in place for a question back to others? what does life really means? nobody actually know e answer . time and again . i had been breaking down . through e nights and days. for me is like no diff . cause i lost all e faith and trust to walk on . actually when someone is really in need . e one which u always hope to have by ur side mostly will choose to be busy or rather missing ? anyone ? this is wat heaven has always made for ppl like us bahs.. everyone life is like unknown for me .. cause future ? watever will happpen nobody will knows.. maybe e next min u will be gone from this world or maybe e next seconds. who's know? so treasure wat ever u have dun let it go or not one fine day when e things or person is gone u will surely confirmly be regret . cause e real happiness is not a giving or something tat can be forgotten about. in love doesnt need a reason . leaving there is also wont be any reason to get e things back . this words are getting true and true. days after days. ppl rather get something tat will not last den getting something tat really last . jus because ppl think tat e person doesnt hab a future? or ? another question mark again. does money really make someone so diff ? being selfish is not a fault . being silly is a big fault.. times flies . 5 years passes so fast . so fast till i didnt know it has gone . till now . i felt it was so slow actually. the feeling i had during e past one year plus where she is gone . gone and when missing because of ? till recently she is back again.. but den this time is a restart of everything and e ending of everything? hais.. i really cant put down .. ppl thanks for all e support and time u all spent to give me advice and pei me talk . thanks . afterall i can only tell u i am really very sorry . i jus cant let go . i may positive when u see me but afterall things was so messy inside.. so messy till i dun really know wat actually i am doing . cause e feeling of destroying my life is coming nearer and nearer . i lost all my hope my future , or should i say my everything . being drunk everyday was like part of my life . cause maybe when i am not awake maybe e brain will be blank . i know this is being stupid or silly . but wat can i really do . does anyone really go through wat i am going through all this years.. waiting and being hurt once and twice and third and more and more .. waiting was so painful but i have been going through it for almost 5 years. afterall i make it . maybe i will be e only record holder in ur life but maybe there also isnt any hope or things we are going about tat why this is going to let u or should i say e both of us choose to be strong but isnt and let it jus ended in a hurtful method . hope i could get e smile tat i had before during 051008. e day i will nv forget in my whole life where i see e smile in u . a very truthful one tat i really see in ur eyes tat u really was touched . and i did it . but hais.. things is jus e heaven trying to give us a moment of happiness after e dead . that wat ppl say be4 u die u will be very clear with ur mind and talks everything out before u will go . maybe tat it is bahs.. so ppl spent ur happy times and always treasure every min of that . wahs.. todays was only e second and is quite long le.. take care everyone. today mood maybe i can give myself a 40% bahs. hope maybe one day i will get a jus pass or above bahs.. :(

相爱不需要理由

SIANSATIONS !

Started this blog cause dun really know wat to say or find who to talk about .. sians .. life is so sians.. hais.. nv been better has been using this to answer ppl how am i . hais.. wat can i say . how to i need to answer . i really dun know .. my life? for myself also a big question mark lo. things is always so easily change de . every min it will change a person or a things so suddenly tat u can jus forget anything in ur life de.. so wat is life actually? actually nobody in this world will know how is their life will be like in e future . recently . been waiting for a person . a person tat really changed my life so many times .. in terms of attitude to e simple things like daily stuff . but after i am back from taiwan. everyone including e person changed . everyone i trusted so much become so far from me . things i think for was becoming so untrue. hais.. times and again. i ask myself wat do i really wan my life to be like? but till now is like a question marks.. nobody really does understand how hard this feeling are to me . is like i really also dun know how to explain how e feeling is like . afterall , i am still in this life again . can i say maybe i am use to it? or maybe things has gone and i wont have e chance to treasure it again ? was it my fault ? i and really breaking down every single day passes.. i lost everthing. i lost my future , my life , my heart, my feeling towards everyone . specially e trust and hope i try to give ppl.. hais.. ppl out there anyone ? worse den me ? being hurt for almost 5 years. but how can i say put down jiu put know ? how can she too? hais.. i know i am silly . but this is call love isnt it? or should i say giving and not asking for returning? was it truth or was it fake? everything was like a show . a hurting show i am going through alone . nobody seem to know wat i am going through . been hiding and rotting at home .. and even if i were to go out . my mood drop more.. go out had to act tat i am strong or rather happy . but i am not ok . i jus wan a simple life. i jus wanna settle down . i dun wan to waste my time on doing things tat are not for my future . but things is always getting out of hand which i dun wan it and it will happen jus like wat i dun wan go and think about it to happen . was it heaven trying to play with me or is it ? ..... i really dont know . every single day . i felt so hurt and sad . times again . i say i am okay but i am not . i wan to trust ppl too. but ppl will always think tat i am jus kidding with them or rather i am jus a lowdown or somethings? hais.. i really dont know .. totally lost . totally no hope to carry on anymore . been soon 5 years le.. times flies . but e feeling u hab ended it . how could u ? :(