SIANSATIONS !
Started this blog cause dun really know wat to say or find who to talk about .. sians .. life is so sians.. hais.. nv been better has been using this to answer ppl how am i . hais.. wat can i say . how to i need to answer . i really dun know .. my life? for myself also a big question mark lo. things is always so easily change de . every min it will change a person or a things so suddenly tat u can jus forget anything in ur life de.. so wat is life actually? actually nobody in this world will know how is their life will be like in e future . recently . been waiting for a person . a person tat really changed my life so many times .. in terms of attitude to e simple things like daily stuff . but after i am back from taiwan. everyone including e person changed . everyone i trusted so much become so far from me . things i think for was becoming so untrue. hais.. times and again. i ask myself wat do i really wan my life to be like? but till now is like a question marks.. nobody really does understand how hard this feeling are to me . is like i really also dun know how to explain how e feeling is like . afterall , i am still in this life again . can i say maybe i am use to it? or maybe things has gone and i wont have e chance to treasure it again ? was it my fault ? i and really breaking down every single day passes.. i lost everthing. i lost my future , my life , my heart, my feeling towards everyone . specially e trust and hope i try to give ppl.. hais.. ppl out there anyone ? worse den me ? being hurt for almost 5 years. but how can i say put down jiu put know ? how can she too? hais.. i know i am silly . but this is call love isnt it? or should i say giving and not asking for returning? was it truth or was it fake? everything was like a show . a hurting show i am going through alone . nobody seem to know wat i am going through . been hiding and rotting at home .. and even if i were to go out . my mood drop more.. go out had to act tat i am strong or rather happy . but i am not ok . i jus wan a simple life. i jus wanna settle down . i dun wan to waste my time on doing things tat are not for my future . but things is always getting out of hand which i dun wan it and it will happen jus like wat i dun wan go and think about it to happen . was it heaven trying to play with me or is it ? ..... i really dont know . every single day . i felt so hurt and sad . times again . i say i am okay but i am not . i wan to trust ppl too. but ppl will always think tat i am jus kidding with them or rather i am jus a lowdown or somethings? hais.. i really dont know .. totally lost . totally no hope to carry on anymore . been soon 5 years le.. times flies . but e feeling u hab ended it . how could u ? :(
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