相爱不需要理由

DOES DAYS ! ! ! ! !

Todays was christmas day, hais.. guess wat i am really sick today so didnt when out .. actually was hoping for someone to call me or msg me but didnt even get a msg from tat person .. was like so stupid of myself la.. think and think .. why does my life always every single days i need to think and think.. walked past 256 this morning .. wasnt dare to look inside .. hais.. :( why do i suddenly had tat kind of weird and unexplained feeling about myself and e things which is around me .. really getting back my low mood level again.. hais.. stayed at home e whole day .. sleep and watching show after show .. was like very sians but doesnt know why i doesnt have mood after i hear something tat i really dun like . hais.. after around close to midnight , bro called me to 256 again. was actually wishing to see someone but in e end i didnt again.. but in terms i was hearing things i dun like again.. cant u guys jus stop talking about things i dun really like .. kinna sians about it .. i am jus like a joke to everyone around me .. was so damn feeling unwell but i still manage to walk out of my house walked there but only makes myself disappointed . :( ppl out there were having fun ytd bahs.. good for u .. this is e one and only saddness of christmas i am going though at home alone .. merry christmas wat those it really means? haven i have enough of all this . hey gods.. when are u jus stop giving me all those saddness .. was i really so stupid ? or ? silly? i am confused myself.. sometime really makes me feel tat i really had enough of this fuck shity life of mys' but i still make a effort to walk on and carry on .. but wat does it really means? once and again.. ppl distrust me, betray me , hurt me to e deepless darkness of my route . why ? why i cant jus lead a simple life of my's i jus wanna a life which i can be happy everyday and not losing days and days of sleep .. and getting e saddness.. should i call this sickness of my's todays a mirserable and something tat really makes a person lose e heart of being happy ..? hais.. i really dun know wat actually i can do anymore .. sometime i really felt so lost .. lost of everything like e speech or things i am going to do . hais.. why does others always has wat they wanted it .. but my's always turn out to be a stupid and silly ones at e end .. hais.. days and days . i am really trying to walk on strong but is really getting more and more hard for myself .. one after another .. who can i really trust now ? who can i really talk to now ? nv once ppl will treasure me actually .. ppl jus take me for granted izzit? i really dun know .. why should i always helped u all when u all really in needs but when i am really in needs .. where is everyone ? having fun outside? i am greedy ? i dun think so . i didnt once ask for anything for return .. but why ppl always like to return me all those things tat will make me lost and sad at e end .. really feeling like i am giving up soon .. really .. hais.. airport .. was a nice view over there but i dun think i will be able to have a chance to celebrate any christmas with e person i most wanted after all. wat does god really make me in this life for? am i really tat lowdown ? izzit tat i doesnt have any pride in myself? i am really confused.. :( life to me now is really ENOUGH!!